{"id":98,"date":"2020-10-14T14:05:34","date_gmt":"2020-10-14T13:05:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/?p=98"},"modified":"2020-12-09T11:28:18","modified_gmt":"2020-12-09T11:28:18","slug":"none-of-this-feels-real","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/","title":{"rendered":"None of this feels real."},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>23rd January, Home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-some-days-are-tougher-than-others\">Some days are tougher than others.<\/h6>\n\n\n\n<p>\u200bI always feel like a bit of a fraud talking about cancer.\u00a0 I think it&#8217;s called imposter syndrome.  I\u2019m happy, and healthy, and fit.  From the outside, I\u2019m the same as I&#8217;ve always been!\u00a0 But all this cancer stuff is becoming a bit of a journey&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The tests came back on Monday bearing news that one of the lymph nodes they took out was positive.\u00a0 Only a couple of cells, nothing really happening, but the <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-information\/all-the-big-questions\/\" target=\"_blank\">seeds were there<\/a>.  Seeds ready to grow and split whenever they feel like it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So on Monday, I\u2019m going back to St Anthony\u2019s in Surrey. I&#8217;m going to have the rest of the nodes in the left side of my groin taken out.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m only spending one night in hospital, but I&#8217;ll have a big gash.  I&#8217;ll probably another month with a drain bottle too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-robots-you-say\">Robots you say?<\/h6>\n\n\n\n<p>The week after that, I\u2019m off to St George\u2019s again.  I will be meeting the robot surgeon that\u2019s going to take out the nodes both sides of my pelvis and see what\u2019s going on there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another night in hospital, and I&#8217;m expecting crazy scenes in South London.&nbsp; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;m reliably informed that the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-information\/robotic-surgery\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">robot is so accurate<\/a>, I\u2019ll only need a couple of plasters over the cuts.  The downside of all this, is that the robot probably won\u2019t take any of my helpful suggestions onboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m expecting to start my radiotherapy at the beginning of March.  I&#8217;m having it at the Royal Marsden in Chelsea now, and I\u2019m notching up another professor!&nbsp; Judging by his picture, he doesn\u2019t look like the type who will approve of my jokes, so he\u2019ll be getting extra.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>23rd January, Home. Some days are tougher than others. \u200bI always feel like a bit of a fraud talking about cancer.\u00a0 I think it&#8217;s called imposter syndrome. I\u2019m happy, and healthy, and fit. From the outside, I\u2019m the same as I&#8217;ve always been!\u00a0 But all this cancer stuff is becoming a bit of a journey&#8230; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"hide_page_title":"","_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[9,17],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v16.5 (Yoast SEO v16.5) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>None of this feels real. &gt;<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Some days, I feel like I suffer with imposter syndrome about cancer. Most of the time, even after major surgery I don&#039;t really feel different.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"None of this feels real.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"23rd January, Home. Some days are tougher than others. \u200bI always feel like a bit of a fraud talking about cancer.\u00a0 I think it&#039;s called imposter syndrome.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-10-14T13:05:34+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-12-09T11:28:18+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Black-Knob.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"116\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Estimated reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Knob.\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/\",\"sameAs\":[],\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#logo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secureservercdn.net\/160.153.138.71\/y53.743.myftpupload.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Black-Knob.png?time=1621067374\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secureservercdn.net\/160.153.138.71\/y53.743.myftpupload.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/Black-Knob.png?time=1621067374\",\"width\":500,\"height\":116,\"caption\":\"Knob.\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#logo\"}},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/\",\"name\":\"Knob.\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/?s={search_term_string}\",\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":[\"WebPage\",\"MedicalWebPage\"],\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/\",\"name\":\"None of this feels real. &gt;\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2020-10-14T13:05:34+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-12-09T11:28:18+00:00\",\"description\":\"Some days, I feel like I suffer with imposter syndrome about cancer. Most of the time, even after major surgery I don't really feel different.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"None of this feels real.\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/#webpage\"},\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f85f55c09e676f183efe9e0aac67e03e\"},\"headline\":\"None of this feels real.\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-10-14T13:05:34+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-12-09T11:28:18+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/penile-cancer-journal\/none-of-this-feels-real\/#webpage\"},\"wordCount\":306,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#organization\"},\"keywords\":[\"Penile cancer surgery\",\"Penile cancer treatment\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Penile cancer journal\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#\/schema\/person\/f85f55c09e676f183efe9e0aac67e03e\",\"name\":\"JL\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/#personlogo\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-GB\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e67376e949d1897e1028d6fc312d5a90?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/e67376e949d1897e1028d6fc312d5a90?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"JL\"},\"description\":\"Jonathan was diagnosed with penile cancer in the autumn of 2019. After 5 major operations, radiotherapy, and chemotherapy treatment he decided to use the pandemic as an excuse to write knob.blog. His writing brings an unvarnished perspective of cancer care in the UK, and the challenges of dealing with a rare, male cancer. He writes on a wide range of health topics, with a focus on cancer treatment and hospital care in the UK.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/author\/jonlittle5579\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=98"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/98\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=98"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=98"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.knob.blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=98"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}