Hi everyone, I’ve got cancer.

I needed an easy way to share what was happening to me. Somewhere I could reach my friends and family, without ever being obligated to reply.

I didn’t have time to build a fancy cancer blog, so I decided to put everything about how I was feeling on Facebook. Clearly, my close family already knew everything that was going on. But, I thought it was important for everyone else in my world to know what was happening. More than that, I was able to tell people how I felt. This is my first entry..

25th November 2019, Home.


Some of you will already know this, but for those that don’t…

A couple of weeks ago, I was diagnosed with penile cancer. This Wednesday, I go into a fancy South London hospital for a week to have a penis reduction. (probably needed doing anyway)

I’m going to have a few other angry lumps cut out of me by the world’s leading authority in dick too.  I don’t say this lightly, but he’s won the cancer team of the year twice, and has a golden telescope.

I’ve recently discovered that he doesn’t actually like being called professor penis, but we’re definitely bonding. He immediately gained my confidence by pulling out an a3 pad and drawing large pictures of phalluses on it. Then, he passionately described what he would like to do to me with his laser.

I’m in really safe hands.

What’s next?

After surgery, I’ll be embarking on 5 weeks of radiotherapy and something about radio sentinel lymph something. (more on that later)

Following that, they might decide to cut a few other bits out. Right now, pre surgery, it looks like I’m going to be lucky. Once the treatments complete, I’ll be back to normal in no time. 

Naturally, my loving, caring and supportive wife has always been on hand to offer me loads of support. Albeit in her own special style, saying things like “god, you make such a a meal of it”. (yes she actually said that) “where’s your life insurance?” and “you’d better not fucking die”.

For all my jokes though, I’m taking this seriously. Penile cancer is a killer, and it kills far more people than it should. 30% of those diagnosed die even when it’s caught early, and that rises to 90% if it spreads.

So, in the UK at least, I’m going to do something about that. Because we can always do better, that’s what we do.

If you’re one of my Facebook friends, you’ll already know me well. You know I don’t want your sympathy. What I do want from everyone though, is a simple pledge. When the time comes, and we choose or build a campaign to raise awareness of this nasty little cancer, that you help me to share and amplify the message. I want us all to do what we can to ensure everyone’s heard of penile cancer and what to look for!

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

penis broken use your own
It’s important to get your spacing right.